Here, Honey. We found something for you to eat.
We like children—a few in particular—but we don’t like their taste in food. We want to cook for them. We want them to eat, but we also want to show them what good food is.
Here are our biggest dilemmas:
|Oscar Mayer Hotdog||Encourages head to tail eating||Exclusively head and tail eating is not a good thing|
|KD||It is an attractive colour, particularly on our blue plates||Enforces the misconception that food comes in packages|
|Chicken Fingers||Good way to safely indentify unadventurous eaters before taking their recommendation of a restaurant||Factory farmed meat promotes cruelty|
|Hamburgers||Children not old enough to consent to rare meat; risk of serious disease;
See pizza, minuses
|Fish Sticks||See KD, pluses||Again, leads the gullible to believe that food is naturally shaped into squares|
|Pizza||Yummy||Frequently served to children in restaurants with clowns, increasing the risk of crying|
|Identifiable as food; no increased risk of choking||Small bits of food are easily spread throughout mothers’ purses as well as family homes|
My scalloped potatoes were eaten before their photo session
So what do you feed a vegetarian child? We recently had a party with an 8 year-old vegetarian, one of our favourite people and the child of two gourmet omnivores. It turns out she eats everything BUT meat (though she liked her mom’s home-made mac and cheese most), but MC Warm Spice wanted to have something to offer her. So he tried scalloped potatoes from America’s Test Kitchen. Since he didn’t have time for vegetable stock, he substituted carrot juice. This disguised the good cheese by turning it that familiar, unnatural orange children have come to expect, and gave a nice earthy flavour to the cream. Adding stock/juice also makes the dish a little less heavy.